Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Camp Murder Day!

Your mom works three jobs and is just scraping by, but she still wants you to have a summer camp experience. Unfortunately, the only camp she can afford to send you to is Camp Murder.

“They only average about three murders a day,” she’ll tell you. “And between the murders, you’ll still be able to swim and hike and have fun. Just make sure you stretch a lot so you don’t cramp up running from the murderer. And don’t fall for any girls. Getting physical with a girl will basically sign your death certificate.”

“Why can’t I go to Camp Diamond Lake?” you’ll pout.

Your mom will pull over by the side of the road. She’ll stare out her window, looking at nothing in particular. When you see her shoulders shake, you’ll realize you made your mom cry. She works so hard, day in and day out, trying to give you the best life she can give, but it’s still far from the life she wishes she could give to you. The life she knows you deserve.

Before you get the chance to say you’re sorry, she’ll say it to you.

“I’m sorry my sweetie,” she’ll say. “I’m sorry that you can’t have everything you should have. But what we got to do, while times are hard, is we got to make the most of what we got. We got to take the bad, and we got to make it good. Can you do that for me sweetie? Can you do that with me?”

You’re crying now too. “Yes mommy,” tell her. “Of course I can. And I bet I’m going to have the best summer of my life at this camp, even if it is called Camp Murder.”

“That’s my boy,” she’ll say. The two of you will hug and wipe away the tears, then your mom will continue the drive to the camp.

On your second day of camp you’ll be murdered.

Happy Camp Murder Day!