Sunday, August 11, 2013

The Reason You Drink Day!

Your drinking buddy’s wife wants to know the reason you drink.

“You drink more than him,” she says. “And he drinks a lot. Why do you drink all that?”

“Because you married the wrong drunk,” tell her.

The two of you drink to it. You spill a little on each other’s naked bodies when you toast. Then you roll over, under the sheets because it’s chilly, and you start having sex again.

Midway through she asks, “Would you have drank less if I married you instead?”

You know you would have. All the nights when the only drink you had was to drown the knowledge that she was at home in bed with him, none of those drinks would have been necessary.

“There’d be others, you know,” she says. “You drink because you don’t have me. You’d drink because you do.”

She finishes.

“If you did,” she pants.

You know that’s true.

“Shame I never got to find out what those drinks taste like,” you tell her.

Happy The Reason You Drink Day!