Party hard today from morning ‘til night. Never stop dancing, never stop laughing, never stop pounding those cold ones and smoking those doobies. Party as hard as you can until you feel like you’ve partied so hard you won’t be able to party anymore, then party a little more. Any time people try to stop you from partying hard, slit their throats. Any time people try to join you in your party when you know they won’t be able to party as hard as you, slit their throats. If anybody offers you tips on partying harder than you already are, but their ideas for partying hard are more attuned to the way they like to party than your sense of what makes a hard party work, slit their throats. Slit all their throats and party in the blood. Use the blood to party even harder, turning it into a slip-n-slide party. You partying hard is the only thing that matters, and the only thing you should do besides partying today is slitting people’s throats. Now stop reading, gather a bunch of knives in a bag, turn up the music, and get that party started, yeah.
Happy Party Hard Day!