Today you and Kat, the girl you've been dating, will be making out in the back of a taxicab. Your left hand will be planted on the seat for balance, and when it slips down into crook where the back cushion meets the seat, something down there will prick your fingertip. You'll yank your hand out and a junky turquoise earring will be hanging from it.
Kat will look at the earring hanging from your finger and she'll scream and cover her eyes. The cabdriver will slam on his brakes and he'll start screaming, 'What is wrong?! What is wrong with your friend?!'
'Nothing!' you'll shout.
Kat will say, 'I got broken up with in this cab.'
You'll say, 'What?'
The cabdriver will shout, 'I knew you looked familiar! You cried and cried!'
'That's my earring,' she'll say. 'I lost it six months ago, the night Jeremy broke up with me. In this cab.'
'Give her back her earring!' the cabdriver will shout.
You'll pull the earring out of your finger and drop it into her palm. She'll caress it and she'll start to cry.
'Have you talked to him since that night?' the cabdriver will ask.
'He called me last night,' Kat will say.
'What?' you'll ask.
'This is a sign,' Kat will say. 'The night after he said he wants me back I found the earring I lost the night we broke up.'
'It has to be!' the cabdriver will shout. 'My God it has all come full circle. And all these months I was driving my cab, waiting for this night when you would get in it again so that I could deliver you to your fate.'
'You can't deny that this seems like it's meant to be. Right?' Kat will ask.
'It's a big coincidence, there's no doubt about it,' you'll tell her.
'I have to go find him,' she'll say.
The cabdriver will shout, 'Go! Run!'
Kat will kiss you on your cheek and she'll thank you. 'You're the best,' she'll say.
You'll pull the door shut and you'll tell the cabdriver to continue on to your apartment.
'That was a very wonderful thing,' the cabdriver will say. 'She was very sad when Jeremy said goodbye.'
Tell him, 'He cheated on her.'
'We all hurt each other,' the cabdriver will say. 'I am sorry you had to be hurt tonight.'
Say it's all right.
'Try to lose something,' the cabdriver will say. 'Maybe you get back in my cab in six months and find it, things will be all right for you. I tell you my taxi is driven by the hand of God!'
Happy Lost Earring Day!