Thursday, April 28, 2005

Hang Out On Your Neighbor's Swingset Day

Hang Out On Your Neighbor's Swingset Day!

Right after sunset, go over there and just sit on the swing and look pensive until the Dad of the house comes out to see what up.

"What up Bill?" the Dad of the house will ask.

Just say his name. Say, "Frank."

Frank will sit on the swing next to you.

"Frank's so good to Melanie."

Frank will look down at the ground.

"Frank gives Melanie every minute of his attention and you barely even look at me."

Frank's about to get up from the swing and go back into the house.

"You're not a man. You know who's a man? Frank's a man."

"Fuck you Bill," Frank will say.

"You're the model husband aren't you Frank?"

"She's gone Bill, you fucked that up yourself," Frank will say.

Tell him, "The only reason your marriage isn't fucked up and mine is is because when that kid we ran over suddenly sprung to life in the grave we were digging, I'm the one who buried the shovel in his head."

"Luck of the draw. You were holding the shovel," Frank will say. "Would you rather we took him to the hospital and went to jail for vehicular manslaughter"

"You said, 'Kill him.'"

"And you killed him. Good work."

"I want my wife back," say.

Frank will say, "Luck of the draw," and he'll go back inside.

Go get some liquor then come back to the swingset and get drunk.

Happy Hang Out On Your Neighbor's Swingset Day!