Bowling Team Shakeup Day!
The captain of your bowling team is on trial for being an arsonist and the rest of you are ready to take a vote of no confidence in his leadership. You're going to have to go to his house and tell him tonight.
"They'll turn on me so quickly?" he'll say. "The way a flame will climb south down a strip of balsawood."
"Yeah," say. "They don't like being seen with you."
He'll dip his finger in a jelly jar of kerosene he keeps in his fridge and then sniff from his fingertip. "And what about you?" he'll ask. "Do you dislike being seen with me?"
Say, "It's not that. I just don't like you."
"Why?" he'll ask.
"You're an arsonist. You set stuff on fire that's not yours. That kind of screams "dick" to me."
He'll come to you and place his hands on both of your shoulders. "Thank you for your honesty," he'll say. "Vote your conscience. I will honor the majority's decree."
Tomorrow you'll be elected captain of the bowling team and tomorrow night he'll burn down your house, your car, and the big tree that gives your house shade.
Happy Bowling Team Shakeup Day!