Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Someone Doesn't Have An Arm Anymore Day!

It might be the guy who sells you your donuts, or it might be your wife. Maybe she didn't wanna tell you about the car accident and cause you to ruin the billion-dollar presentation you were to deliver to the Tokyo office. After all, the arm still won't be there when you get back.

If it's the donut guy, he made an ill-advised wager.

Yes, it could be your kitty. In fact, if you can't bear to take a chance, why not hack off the little shit's arm first thing in the morning, because there will only be one and it will be someone you know so if it's not your kitty it could be your daughter or your mistress. And how does one end it with a mistress who is no longer attractive because she only has one arm without feeling way super dicky? Slice the paw.

Don't get too bummed about today. Whether it's your pet or your mother, whoever ends up without an arm today will live the rest of his or her life as an inspiration to us all.

Happy Someone Doesn't Have An Arm Anymore Day!