Crossing Guard Day!
Get way drunk and run outside to mock the crossing guard again. Hurry up and start drinking, she splits from the intersection by 9:30. All the motorists loved it the last time you stood behind her and mimicked the way she spun her arms to direct traffic. When she spun around and hit you with the hand-held stop sign and you fell down on the ice, every sedan was full to the rooftop with belly laughs. It's been about a month now, go out there and put on another show. Just make sure she doesn't mace you again.
Happy Crossing Guard Day!