Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Maybe You Should Call And Get His/Her Roommate To Knock On His/Her Door Day!

You've gotten used to those calls. But you're also getting kind of sick to death of them aren't you. A whole lot of "You never liked him or her did you I could tell and you thought it was time for us to split up and I did too and that's why tomorrow I'm going to stop drinking/smoking/believing in Jesus Christ and I'm finally going to start using those paints I bought last year and I really appreciate you listening to me because sometimes I think if I didn't have you to talk to I'd end up opening my throat with this straight razor I bought on the way home from work today blahblahfuckingblah!!! How much are you supposed to put up with?

But last night it was a little different. Less hysterics, more "Just callin'...I don't know...to see what's up." Like someone who'd run out of ideas and was hoping you might be able to come up with something. And when he/she said goodbye and you said "Talk to you tomorrow," all you heard was a click. Then you unpaused your Playstation 2 and first-person-shootered the whole conversation out of your mind. Until now.

What I'm saying, and I'm sure it'll only subject you to another tirade of "When will the feelings of rejection and worthlessness go away and why do I always get thrown into the garbage for someone of a different gender than me and I've tried dating both men and women to avoid this happening again but it's always the same blahblahfuckingblah!!!", but what I'm saying is maybe you should call and get his/her roommate to knock on his/her door. And I know his/her roommate's a cock and you hate having to talk to him because he only wants to talk about the Sopranos, but maybe you should call and get his/her roommate to knock on his/her door. Because today's Maybe You Should Call And Get His/Her Roommate To Knock On His/Her Door Day! Also, your friend might have committed suicide and if so it's your fault.