Thursday, October 24, 2002

If You Can't Figure Out What To Eat, You Should Go Back To Bed And Swear Aloud Day!

You think just because you plunk the down the seven bucks at the Hometown Buffet that you're somehow magically going to be suddenly decisive? You aren't even sure if you're hungry. Sure, you feel sort of weak and you have a headache and whoah! everything just went gray there for a second, but what does that have to do with your stomach? You might just be a little tired still. Yeah, you've been in bed for 88 hours but you haven't actually slept in 60. Go give it another shot. But try counting your swears as you mutter them into the pillow clenched in your fists. It'll be like counting sheep. And if you want you could even close your eyes and envision a pack of the word "Cocksuck" one by one jumping over a wooden fence in slow motion. I bet that'll knock you out in no time, yo.

Whatever you do, don't go outside to look for food. You might run into one of your friends.

Happy If You Can't Figure Out What To Eat, You Should Go Back To Bed And Swear Aloud Day!