Wednesday, October 16, 2002

Try To Program Yourself To Dream About Fucking Someone With Your Underwear Off Day!

There are books about programming yourself to dream about certain things. You should buy one because everyone's real skeeved by the way your sex dreams always play out. Whether we're in the dream, reminding you to show up for soccer practice tomorrow or you're off the team, or whether we just bump into you in the few hours after you've awoken from the dream and we can see on your face that you've yet to shower away the psychic residue of having dreamed about fucking somebody without bothering to remove your underwear. Yeah, panties, especially the really tired ones you're always wearing in your naughty dreams, can quite comfortably endure the crotch being slid just to the right. And your dream labia seems to have been equipped with a kind of hook and eye situation that keeps your panties from sliding out of place. And briefs and boxers come right out of the box with a gap in the front.

All this is very true and it doesn't make intercourse with your underwear still on any less unsettling. And what's with the bulky sweatshirts and unfastened brassieres? We're all so terrified of you right now because we've just never met anyone who so clearly could've starred in an all-blood relative Bukkake video you've been molested so many times. And as long as you're going to try this dream programming thing, ixnay on the Subway sandwiches and the belly punches, dig? Sex is supposed to be about trust and fluids.

Happy Try To Program Yourself To Dream About Fucking Someone With Your Underwear Off Day!