Tuesday, October 29, 2002

"Nice Fuckin' Foliage Asshole!" Day!

Today is about the fact that even when it seems like nothing will ever make this life worth living ever again, Baby Jesus snaps his fingers and shouts, "Zam! Waddaya think o' them apples?" And you suddenly find yourself in the midst of simply the most wonderful moment that has to have ever gone down on this big dumb planet.

How wonderful, you ask? Well, let's say you're on a weekend excursion up to New Hampshire to get a look at the changing leaves and you park your car by the side of the road to check out a block of houses known countywide for their front lawn displays of beautiful Autumn color and they even have a contest every year for who flashes the best auburn glow. So you're admiring a few acres of artfully maintained Oak and Maple trees seemingly strategically planted out front of somebody's house. And just as you're complimenting the landowner on his beautiful display, an 89 Honda Civic hatchback slows to a crawl just behind you and the bearded fellow behind the wheel (his young son sitting beside him) cups his hand to his mouth and shouts out the window "Nice Fuckin' Foliage Asshole!!!" before turning just a few houses down into a driveway of yet another home sporting a jaw-dropping display of red and yellow blur. The homeowner you were speaking to gives his forearm an "up yours" slap, then tips his hat to you before trudging back into his front door.

Sound like it might give you the momentum to make it through another day? Then let's head north. I know this chick who's got a car, but she drinks so we'll have to trade off wheel duty. Cool?

Happy "Nice Fuckin' Foliage Asshole!" Day!