Saturday, October 05, 2002

If You're In Love With Someone On Death Row, Sucks To Be You Day!

And I thought I've made some bad decisions! Bartender, his/her next one's on me!

Seriously, though, do you ever wonder if maybe you just want to build a melodrama around yourself? I'm not doubting your love. But you have to ask yourself why you're drawn to a rapist/murderer of retarded elderly people who got caught. Isn't it possible that you just never really found your own calling? Your own passion? Your own high school diploma? And so you put off that search for the shores of Lake You by taking on the much more clearly defined task of spearheading your lover's legal defense fund and Nationwide Anti-Capital Punishment Campus Advocacy Group (NACPCAG y'all!). By the way, does that de la Fuckya dude from Rage Against The Machine smell as bad as he looks like he would? What's King Ad Rock really like?

Have you considered getting a real estate license or learning to manufacture meth? What about modeling? Just kidding.

But seriously, we've all fallen in love with that one from the wrong side of the tracks. But most of us realize the bloom might be off the rose well before our snoogums gets caught stuffing a tennis ball into the mouth of a stripped naked retarded 80 year old to stifle the moans. Just sayin', grow up.

Happy If You're In Love With Someone On Death Row, Sucks To Be You Day!