Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Try To Get Through To These Kids Day!

You’re a schoolteacher and your students are having a pregnancy contest to see who can have a baby the fastest. The girl who has her baby last will be shunned socially and her life will pretty much stink, at least while she’s in middle school. You need to get these kids to wake up!

“Come on!” tell them. “It’s not cool to be mean to girls because they aren’t as fertile as you or because they can’t deliver their babies as fast as you. You girls need to stick together as you go through this, the most magical experience a teen can have.”

The girls will gather into a group hug, and you’ll be proud of yourself for finally reaching them. Until one of the girls sucker-punches another in her big stomach. All of the other girls will laugh while the girl who got punched miscarries. Then the bell will ring.

The girl who miscarried will stay behind after class.

“I’m out of the contest,” she’ll say, near tears.

“Bet you’d like a milkshake,” say to her.

The miscarrying girl will smile at you, then she’ll clean up her mess and let you take her down to the ice cream shop for a milkshake. She may not be one of the cool pregnant girls anymore, but at least she knows that people can still be kind.

Happy Try To Get Through To These Kids Day!