Monday, August 27, 2007

You’re An Alcoholic And You Just Got A Brilliant Idea Day!

You’ll be sitting around your apartment not drinking when it will hit you.

“I should drink now!” you’ll think. You’ll immediately sprint outside and find alcohol.

“It worked! It worked!” you’ll shout after you ingest the alcohol and stop feeling sad and scared.

You’ll drink throughout the rest of the day, just to see what happens. Occasionally, you’ll start to take notes on a bar napkin, but it will always devolve into doodles of the “Star Wars” logo or Yoda.

At the end of the day, you’ll conclude that the presence of alcohol in your system created an overall effect of everything not being awful, excluding the occasional twenty minute period of directionless fury. In the end, you’ll decide that drinking was a brilliant idea and that you are a genius. To celebrate, you’ll leave your daytime bar and head over to your nighttime bar for a drink or two.

On your way to the nighttime bar, you’ll think to yourself, “I’m like Stephen Hawking with legs that work!” Then you’ll stumble on an uneven sidewalk and fall down, which will be so funny that you’ll wish you weren’t alone. You'll wish there was someone you could laugh with.

Happy You’re An Alcoholic And You Just Got A Brilliant Idea Day!