Your father sunk all of his money into your Ivy League education while your sister was flunking out of community college. Your father kicked her out and she turned to ticket scalping. It's kept her afloat, earning her enough money to never have to come home and ask for a loan no matter how much she needed one. But today you're going to come to her for a favor.
When you find her on the corner outside of the Coliseum she'll be trying to convince a couple of teenagers that even though her tickets say "Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus" on the face, they'll still get them into the Pink concert.
"I need your help," you'll tell her.
"I'm with clients," she'll say.
The kids will take that chance to walk away emptyhanded.
"You just blew that sale for me," she'll say.
"I have my own clients," tell her. "They love ice shows."
"I was wondering what would send you out to this end of town."
"Please," you'll tell her. "You know I'd help you. If you ever asked me that is."
Your sister will not have looked you in the eye yet. Her eyes will be scanning the streets for people who might either want to buy or sell tickets. "I don't need your help," she'll bark.
"Four tickets," tell her. "Center rink. If these guys don't walk away with some glitter from the skater's leotards on their suitjackets, I'll lose this account."
"And I should care because�?" your sister will say.
"Because I'm your sister," tell her.
At that your sister will look you in the eye finally. She'll touch her hand to your shoulder and she'll say, "I'll get you the tickets. Don't worry about it."
"Thanks Sis," you'll say.
The two of you will hug. Then you'll cry and talk about the old times. Then you'll skip through a cemetery and come out on the other side to find an old storefront for rent where you'll open up a bakery selling pies made from the recipes passed down from your mother, who has been dead a while.
Happy Your Wayward Older Sister Is Now A Ticket Scalper Day!