Monday, April 10, 2006

They're Moving You Out Of Reception Day!

They're going to be switching you to a desk in the back so that they can try out the new temp up front for a little while. It's not that they're unhappy with your work. They just feel you've gotten a little "vein-y" lately.


"Your skin is so pale it's almost translucent," your supervisor will tell you. "You're very ghostly lately. People have been complaining about having to see you first thing when they come back from lunch because you remind them of death."

Say, "I'm going through a breakup. I should be allowed some time to let my skin slide off of my bones. Every breath from my mouth could be a sob if I forget to grind my fist under my knee first."

Your supervisor will sit up in her chair, fold her hands in front of her on her desk, and she'll say, "That's very understandable. But while you're healing, why don't we just pull you out of the waiting room for a little while, hmm?"

Ask her why she folded her hands in front of her like she did. "You're trying to send me an off-limits signal, aren't you? You're afraid that since I'm going through a breakup I'm gonna make a pass at you, right?"

Your supervisor will keep her hands clasped before her. "Yes I am," she'll say.

Tell her, "Relax. I'm still too heartbroken to even know that other women exist."

Your supervisor will unclasp her hands and breath a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness!" she'll say. "So you'll consent to being moved to the back for a while?"

Say, "Why not. Might do me some good."

Your supervisor will say, "Excellent." Then the both of you will get up from your chairs, the perfect time to make a pass. Go on, everyone in the world has probably been waiting with bated breath for you to be single again. Give them what they crave!

Happy They're Moving You Out Of Reception Day!