Thursday, April 06, 2006

Some Complaints About Your Dental Assistant Day!

She talks about Christ too much. It's a shame because she used to be all the patients' favorite because she was so hot. But ever since she came back from vacation, the suggestion box has been filling up with notes from patients saying that as soon as you leave the room, your assistant leans over the patient and starts expounding on Jesus' love. You aren't sure whether they know her vacation was spent at a recovery center and that her new love for Jesus has taken the place in her heart where her old love for painkillers used to be. Or maybe they do know and they just don't care. Maybe all of your patients are so selfish that they would rather your assistant place her life in the perilous hands of addiction just so they don't have to be made uncomfortable by a little talk about the long-haired man on the cross that saved her life.

"If someone saved my life, I'd wanna tell some people about him," you'll think. You'll sort through the notes in the suggestion box that read, "I'm made to feel uncomfortable" and "This is no place for religious talk" and "Aw man she was so hot why'd Jesus have to go and snatch her up?"

"I never knew how uncaring my patients could be," you'll think. Carry the pile of suggestion notes out to your receptionist and tell her to compare the handwriting to the handwriting on the patient files to find out their names.

"Then call them and tell them I won't be providing dental services to them anymore," tell her. "If they persist in asking why, tell them we have different ideas about just what we're doing here. Tell them I won't provide care to those who would prefer my dental assistant die from an overdose than be made to hear the word Jesus from time to time. I won't care for those who don't care about my team."

Your receptionist will say, "With pleasure!" and then she'll set about making her list of unwelcomes. This will be a blow to your income, losing all those regular visits. But if dental school taught you anything, it's that everything gets put on the backburner when your dental assistant is in distress. Know who comes first.

Happy Some Complaints About Your Dental Assistant Day!