Tonight you're going to enter your 10,007th notch on your bedpost to commemorate your 10,007th consecutive night of sleeping alone since Francine left. Your bedpost is getting to look a little bit whittled. In fact you might need to get a new bed frame. Unless Francine comes back soon.
"She might come back," you'll say to no one while waiting for sleep that won't come.
Francine was younger than you and she felt like you were forcing the relationship to move ahead as far as it could go because you were afraid she'd run off and find someone her own age.
"It was like he'd put his hands in his ears and sing a song to keep from hearing me anytime I mentioned anything about wanting to expand my horizons," is akin to something Francine might say if she had been interviewed for this.
Tonight you're going to have a dream about riding a log flume where the log goes off the track and lands on your best friend Mark and his wife and new baby. Mark has been very patient about your breakup, inviting you over for dinner every week, and in your dream he'll be flattened. When you wake up you'll rub your bedpost to see if the bed frame is cracking. You won't be able to tell in the dark, but as you fall back to sleep the bed will feel a little off�balance. And lonely. And cold. And hopeless.
Happy A Notch On Your Bedpost Day!