Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Go To The Street Magician Day

Go To The Street Magician Day!

There's a street magician in the park who will tap his hat and pull a rabbit from it. Or scarves. Go to him. Perhaps he can help.

Stand at the rear of the crowd ooing and aahing at the appropriate times, such as when the magician convinces his magic wand to levitate. Keep your head down low when the hat is passed around and filled with money. Wait until the street magician sits down on his bench to smoke a cigarette. Then race to his side before he might be approached by anyone else.

Say, "Great show, big guy."

The street magician will say, "You could have said as much by dropping some cash in the hat." He'll then open one eye wide at you and say, "I see all, even the cheapos."

Apologize. "I am poor," say. "I came here for help."

Explain that your son needs insulin, and you don't know how to get it for him because you don't have any money.

"Baby," he'll say, "I earned this bread. You saw me earn it. I'm sorry, but you gotta find someone at social services."

Explain that you're too proud to ask for money and you wouldn't presume that he might part with his performance fee. Explain that you were hoping he might make use of his magic hat.

"Perhaps you could make a vial of insulin appear in it?" say. "Or the cash equivalent. 78 dollars?"

The magician won't want to explain to you that his magic hat is nothing more than a hat with a trick flap. So he'll say, "It is done. Prepare to be amazed."

The magician will tap his hat twice, then he'll reach in and move the rabbit aside (you'll spy the ears poking out from the brim) and he'll move his hand around at the bottom of his hat and he'll find an unopened vial of insulin still in the pharmacy bag.

"Thank you," you'll shout when he places the bag in your hands. "You are truly a gifted sorcerer. Thank you good man!"

The magician will assume that you don't know his name, and so you won't know that that's his son's name on the label when you open it up later. He also won't know that you were aware that magicians hate to let on that they're not really magical, and that he has a kid with diabetes (word spreads when in a small town like yours). He's just happy he got to really wow somebody, and you're just happy that your kid's not gonna fade out any time soon.

So what if you took some trickster's kid's juice. He's got the power of darkness on his side. All you got is two ex-husbands and a drunk tenant living in the basement.

Happy Go To The Street Magician Day!