Saturday, April 17, 2004

Replace All The Working Light Bulbs In The House With Light Bulbs That Have Burned Out Day!

You should have been saving up light bulbs that have burned out of natural wear and tear over the past three or four years. You can't just shake some light bulbs until they rattle loose, he'll be able to tell. All of the light bulbs have to look as if they burned out simply by reaching the extent of their half-life.

When he's working second shift at the plant, tour through the house replacing the working bulbs in every lamp and fixture with the burnt out bulbs you've collected. When he returns, he'll flick the lightswitch in the kitchen and nothing will happen. He'll go into the laundry closet for an replacement bulb and pull the chain on the overhead light and nothing will happen. He'll say goddamn. He'll replace the bulb in the kitchen, then the bulb in the laundry closet, then he'll go into the living room, flick the switch on a table lamp and nothing will happen. As he makes his way into the bedroom to find you asleep, flicking impotent switch after impotent switch, he'll come to believe that all of the bulbs in the house extinguished themselves in one simultaneous moment. I have no idea what you stand to gain by doing this.

Happy Replace All The Working Light Bulbs In The House With Light Bulbs That Have Burned Out Day!