Hide The Heroin At The Bottom Of The Hamper Day!
Now that the baby's been born, you've decided to start selling heroin to set some money aside for his schooling and braces. To do this, you're going to have to manipulate your heroin so that it has that special flavor that keeps people coming back for more.
"I don't want to sell the kind of heroin that people buy just because they ran out, like laundry detergent. I want people to crave my heroin," you tell your wife while the two of you lay in bed.
"Like Krispy Kreme," she says.
"Exactly. But how can I get people to crave heroin?"
Your wife lets her eyes drift up to the ceiling. "This won't put us in danger will it, honey?"
"Just keep the heroin at the bottom of the hamper and no one will ever find it."
She says, "Maybe the stink and the filth of dirty clothing will give your heroin that special flavor that keeps people coming back for more."
She might be onto something. "How long has the heroin been at the bottom of the hamper?" you ask.
She smiles. "Since you bought it. A week ago."
You look at each other.
You say, "You never know."
She says, "Only one way to find out."
You shoot up and it feels pretty good.
"Did you notice anything different?" you ask your wife.
Me either, you think. You want to say it, but you forget how to say things.
"When did we last feed the baby?" your wife asks.
You want to say you don't remember, but you just can't.
Happy Hide The Heroin At The Bottom Of The Hamper Day!