The Football Players Day!
The Football Players are simple folk. Strong and violent, yet kind-hearted. Go to them for help.
"Football Players, the mafia is threatening to burn down my store and murder my sons if I don't pay them 10 percent of my income every month. Can you help me?"
The leader of the Football Players will say, "Yes?"
Say, "You sound unsure."
The leader of the Football Players will say, "We're not?"
Make sure you're doing the right thing here. "Okay Football Players, what will you do to get me out of this situation?"
The leader of the Football Players will look around at his teammates for some answers. Then he'll say to you, "We'll beat them up?"
The leader of the Football Players will say, "Mafia?"
Say, "Good. Let's do it now. I'll give you each a six pack of beer."
The Football Players will then jump up from the bench, shouting and hitting each other on the shoulder pads, before charging off the field to follow you to the Mafia.
Happy The Football Players Day!