Monday, April 19, 2004

Bull's Eye Day!

As you sit and drink your coffee by the window to the courtyard, you'll look up at the roof across the way to find a man in a plastic bicyclist's face guard pointing a rifle at you.

Say, "Hello?"

The masked gunman will say, "If I made it so, you'd be dead right now."

Ask, "Who are you?"

He'll get a little haughty and stretch out the words "Never you mind."

"Okay, what now then?" say.

The masked gunman will hold the rifle trained on your chest for a moment longer, saying nothing. Then he'll lower the rifle and look around the roof, you won't know for what. He'll try to scratch his nose underneath his mask, but he'll give up and slide the mask up over his head. You won't recognize him.

He'll pull his mask back down and point the rifle at you again. You'll stiffen, certain you're about to be killed. But the gunman will lower the rifle again and hold out his palm to the sky like he's testing for a drizzle. Then he'll flap his cape over his shoulders and run slowly out of sight.

You'll finish your coffee and gather your things before heading to work, your spirits buoyed not in the slightest by the fact that you've just cheated death at the hand of an ambivalent gunman.

Happy Bull's Eye Day!