Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Melvin Is A Magician Now Day!

With the flowers in your left hand, you use your right to push the doorbell for the first time in 13 years. His mother answers:


She's in a bathrobe. It's new. Or at least, it's not the flowered one she used to wear when you were in high school.

"Mrs. Ames?" you say.

She puts her reading glasses on and squints into your face. She says, "Alicia? Is that you?"

"It's me Mrs. Ames," you say. "I've come back for Melvin."

Go on. Do it just like you rehearsed on the drive down.

"Mrs. Ames, when Melvin and I broke up after prom, it seemed like a good idea. In fact, it was a good idea. I didn't know who I was when I was seventeen. I had a lot of growing up to do, as I'm sure you can understand."

Mrs. Ames can understand. This is evident by the nod of her head.

"I've been with a lot of men since Melvin, Mrs. Ames. A lot more than I ever thought I'd be with. I don't know statistics, but I'm pretty sure I've been with a lot more than might be considered average. In fact, considering only my immediate circle of friends and acquaintances, way more than average."

You start to drift with some rather delicious memories. Mrs. Ames is uncomfortable. Stay on target.

"These men, Mrs. Ames, they taught me many things. Things that it would be unseemly to go into right here and now. But the most important thing I learned from them was that not a single one of them could ever measure up to all that I received from your son, from Melvin. I'm in love with your son Mrs. Ames. And I want him to be mine. I drove three hundred miles today to give him these flowers and ask if he'd like to have dinner and perhaps a life with me. Could you go get him?"

Mrs. Ames looks so thrown you'd think you just proposed to her. She removes her reading glasses and drops them back into the pocket of her robe. Then she wrings her hands and says, "Melvin is a magician now. He moved out of the house about ten years ago."

The hand holding your flowers drops slowly to your side. "Oh," you say.

Mrs. Ames is done wringing her hands. "He's doing two shows tonight at Lem's Lobster and Dinner Theater off of Route 80."

You look up at her with a question in your eyes. Mrs. Ames grabs your shoulders in her hands and she says, "Go."

Happy Melvin Is A Magician Now Day!