Friday, June 27, 2003

You Are The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back As Regards A Homeless Person's Death Day!

Today, when you refuse to give a homeless person the fifty cents he asks of you, you will be the reason he dies. Not from starvation or the inability to make a phone call to reach out to his brother, the only person left in the world willing to take him in. Rather, when you refuse to give him the change and say, "Get a job, hippy," the homeless person will be overcome with fury and frustration to the point that he will feel it is impossible to take one single step forward. He'll just stand exactly where you left him, exactly where his feet were planted when you told him no, he'll stand in that spot for six minutes without a quiver. And just when he's about to take a step, a frozen rod composed entirely of urine ejected from the belly of a commercial jet will impale him through the chest and he will die. And it will be all your fault because you upset him.

Give to the homeless. It's up to you to keep them from being impaled by human waste turned solid thanks to a combination of jet engine speed and high altitude sub-zero temperatures.

Happy You Are The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back As Regards A Homeless Person's Death Day!