Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Surfer Boy Day!

Surfer Boy is about to call you. He got your number a year and a half ago at a party when you had a line on a used air conditioner. He never called about the air conditioner, which is good news because air conditioners are heavy. You see, Surfer Boy doesn't even know how he got your number. He's calling you because he needs someone to help him move.


"I swear man, I know this is weird but all my friends flaked on me."

Surfer Boy always seemed to enjoy a deep throng of friends and lovers. When he'd arrive at the beach, he'd often be greeted with, "Hey look, here comes Surfer Boy!" And everyone would crowd around him as he pulled himself into his wet suit, asking him what he thought of the waves and whether he wants to go beat up some Howlies. And then Surfer Boy would run down to the beach and all would watch him with mouths agape. He was the kind of person people wanted to be seen talking to.

"Have you tried calling a moving company?"

"Too last minute. Please man."

A party was considered a success if Surfer Boy showed up. Oftentimes a party would erupt out of a casual gathering simply because Surfer Boy decided to hang around for a while. When the mayor wanted to close a popular beach to get some much needed improvements underway, he brought Surfer Boy into his office and asked him if he had any concerns.

"Are you sure there isn't a single friend you can call?"

"I'm just an idea to them."

You might pity Surfer Boy, and it will feel good. All those night's you envied his ability to walk into a room and stop the music. And now you learn that in truth his is a life of loneliness. Everyone shouts to their friends, "Hey it's Surfer Boy!" But no one's ever going to walk up and say, "Hi Surfer Boy. How are you? You look a little thin."

You might pity Surfer Boy, and that might make you think you should help him in his time of need. That depends on you and whatever you might have been hoping to do today.

"So how 'bout it man, whaddya say?"

Happy Surfer Boy Day!