Sunday, June 22, 2003

Don't Go Down With The Ship Day!

If the ship you're captaining looks like it's going to sink, do not, I repeat DO NOT stay on it and die a watery death simply because you got promoted to captain because the last guy got shot by a passenger after he tried to screw that passenger's teenage girl daughter and beat her up when she wouldn't let him.

Nowadays, regulations for commercial liners are very strict about there being more than enough lifeboats for passengers to get to safety, so it's not like you'll be taking someone's place. Once everyone's in a boat and it's clear that duct tape isn't going to do the trick, get into a lifeboat yourself and head home to your family. You're just a casino boat captain. No one's going to be hoisting one into the air for you at the wharf tavern in honor of your respect for the code of the high seas. For God's sake, you pay union dues to guarantee a safe working environment.

Happy Don't Go Down With The Ship Day!