Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Paint Yourself Into a Corner Day!

But don't use paint, use extramarital dalliances. Like, you know how when you're painting your floor (if you owned a shed I guess you might think about painting the floor) and you're not paying attention so you just go ahead and spread the paint all over and before you know it you're stuck in the corner of the shed, standing in the only part of the floor not yet covered in wet paint and now you have to either wait for the paint to dry or dig your way out because you weren't paying attention to the consequences? Do the same thing but with extramarital dalliances. So every time one of your mistresses calls and says, "Let's boff!" just say, "Sure, meet me in my shed at 7!" And so you go down to the shed at 6:56 right after ice cream and you stand in the corner while one by one, both of your mistresses show up to do it with you. But they look at each other, then they look at you, and they start shouting at you, and so you just think "Boy did I paint myself into a corner here!" And then you see your son standing in the door watching you. He's eight.

Happy Paint Yourself Into a Corner Day!