Saturday, June 08, 2002
Pretend Your Apartment Is A Fort And Invite Friends Over So You Can Pretend They're Monsters Trying To Get In And Eat You Day!
Pile up all your pillows and couch cushions in a kind of circle and hunker down with your cordless phone and some chicken. Then call up your friends and tell them to come on over and bring some beer. When they buzz your apartment and ask to come up, tell them you know they're monsters and they're just trying to get in so they can eat you and everyone else in the building so they can start the occupation of the neighborhood. When your friend says, "What?", repeat yourself. Your friend might say something like, "Quit being a fucker. It's me, Ed. C'mon it's chilly out here." That's when you tell the monster that you know that monsters have the ability to mimic prey, and you can assume that Ed is dead and that the monster should leave because you're vengeful. Eventually all of the friends you invited over will get pissed off and go away. Then you'll be alone.