Friday, June 28, 2002

Everything's Made of Shit And Dick Cancer (Koala Bears Excluded) Day!

A little girl from Tampa, FL named Cecilia, age 8, wrote the following adorable letter to Girls Are Pretty in reference to today's special day. Give it a read:

Dear Prettygirl,

Zebras are pretty. I like Zebras. At the zoo, I only want to see the Zebras because they are my favoritest animal in the zoo. I don't think Zebras are made of shit and dick cancer and can you please change your holiday so that everything else but Koalas and Zebras are made of shit and dick cancer? Please? Thank you Prettygirl.

--Cecilia. Age 8.


Wasn't that sweet? Sadly, I have no control over what happens on what day. I am only a conduit for this 50 foot monkey that decides on everything, even the thoughts in your head. So here's my response, Cecilia:

Dear Cecilia,

You're fucking dead.

--Prettygirl


Happy Everything's Made of Shit And Dick Cancer (Koala Bears Excluded) Day!