It's Monday, June 10th, 2002 again. It's time to ask your extremely wealthy and condescending boy/girlfriend to make more time in his/her life for you so that he/she may slip five hundred dollars in your palm and demand that you "Buy yourself sumthin' sexy." Don't take it lightly. Buy something that will appeal to him/her and have it handy the next time he/she demands sex from you. It doesn't matter if, when the item is presented to him/her, your facial expression betrays the feelings of disgust you hold for yourself. Just make sure he/she finds the item appealing. This is a very powerful person we're talking about and no one will miss you if you disappear.
And now for a moment of silence in remembrance of those who can suck me and I mean suck me hard.