Tuesday, June 18, 2002

Don't Commit Adultery Unless You Just Want To Have Sex With Someone Besides Your Monogamous Partner Day!

People who commit adultery are disgusting vermin and whatever wacked out making-it-count position they use during their adulterous relationships, that's exactly how the devil's gonna fuck them for all eternity when they end up rotting in hell. Except for the ones who were just doing it for the fresh, exciting sex.

But the others, like the ones who had sex outside their monogamous relationships just to prove they're cool or the ones who nail somebody because he or she knows a lot of trivia about Hockey or the ones who need to fuck strangers to feel necessary to the world because they were molested, those ones deserve to fucking die. I mean, just because someone helps you fix a flat tire then takes his or her shirt off, it's not an excuse to betray the one you love. But if you really just want to have sex with the person, because you never have, then it's cool.

I knew this one guy. He had a wife and two daughters and one night he was on a business trip and he had sex with this cocktail waitress in a motel. But he only did it because he found out one of his daughters had Leukemia and he needed to be close to someone for the night. Anyway, while he and the waitress were asleep, someone broke into the motel room and slit both their throats.