Wednesday, June 26, 2002

How 'Bout Nobody Gather Round A Fire And Sing A Bunch Of Queer-Ass Songs Day!

This one's also known as "Let's Not And Say We Did You Dork Day." It's about refusing to participate in a warm, unifying evening of old and new friends joining together in the woods to pretend that singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" is gonna change the fact that some people's Dads come into their rooms late at night. "Kumbaya My Lord?"

No.

Look this isn't Meatballs. Chris Makepeace is not going to win any races today and Bill Murray is not going to get back together with one of the butchest love interests ever put to celluloid. The only thing any of us has in common is the fact that none of us should ever gather round in a circle to do anything ever. We're just wrong for each other. We're not in a "Gather Round A Fire And Sing Some Songs" place right now. The harder you try to force it, the more plaintive our disgust for each other will become. Oh and way to break out the acoustic guitar on How 'Bout Nobody Gather Round A Fire And Sing A Bunch Of Queer-Ass Songs Day. Good planning. (Just like when you booked the trip to Denver during Denver Blows Week last year.)

What? No I didn't say anything.