Saturday, March 03, 2012

You’re The Motel Ghost Day!

You’re the ghost that haunts the Motel 6 off of I-95 near exit 222. You’ve seen more horrors than have ever been dreamed about by the architects of hell. Even if you stay in just one room you can be stunned by the disgusting atrocities committed by that room’s guests over the course of a single week. Today you’re trying to keep your attention on the TV as a little girl washes the blood off the walls after having spent the evening murdering her parents all because her father got a job in Florida and took her away from her friends at school. You’re considering throwing a few things around the room to scare her, but you know you could never do anything to frighten her more than her very existence has already frightened you. Instead, just wail at her “Geeeet Ooooout!” in a way that convinces her that she’s in danger, and not that you’re terrified to be in her company for a single moment. If it gets too scary, open the doorway to hell and escape into the firey eternity of torture to get the fuck away from the horrific nightmare that is modern American humanity looking for a cheap place to sleep.

Happy You’re The Motel Ghost Day!