Lots of the posts on Craigslist are posted by ghosts who lure people with the promise of cheap bicycles or lurid sex into the place where they’re haunting solely to trap the people there so they can ask them to resolve stuff for them. Today you’re going to fall into this trap. You’ll answer an ad that claims to be from a woman who wants to hurt a man by sitting on his face and since your plans fell through you’ll figure what the hey. When you get to the apartment it will be empty. Then the fridge magnet poetry will start to move apparently of its own will and it will spell out the sentences, “Tell Derrick It Wasn’t Darcy. It Was Rita. Tell Derrick Now.” You can do as the fridge magnets suggest and track down this Derrick guy, but the better plan is just to get the hell out of there. Resolving stuff for ghosts can take forever and it’s often stuff that the ghost should really be cool with letting go unresolved. If you feel bad, don’t. It’s likely that two or three more guys will show up right after you and at least one of them will be a softie and go for it. Sorry you won’t get your face sat on tonight.
Happy Ghosts On Craigslist Day!