You took away Mom’s diet pills because you want Mom to get fat so there will be more of her to love. Unfortunately Mom is addicted to those pills so when she finds them gone she immediately shoots her boarder, Harold, because she assumes he stole them. She comes to you to help her bury the body, but she says you have to do all the work because her reflexes are a little shot without those pills. When she’s not looking you take the pills out of your pocket and drop them on the ground, then pretend to find them and say, “Hey look. I found your pills. I guess maybe they were dropped there by someone who cares about you or something?”
You’re scared that your mom will get angry at you, since it was obviously you who took the pills. But instead she just takes them out of your hand, winks and says, “Guess so.”
Then she gobbles a couple of pills and lays down in the corner of the lawn, curled up like a cat, and she cries quietly while the pills take hold. You start shoveling to get that body in the ground before dawn, grateful that she didn’t get angry. This is the first time you’ve ever really let your mom know you care about her. It feels nice knowing she knows.
Happy Mom’s Diet Pills Day!