Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Time To Track Down Your Biological Parents Day!

Your adoptive parents are worried but they’ll have to deal.

“I need to do this,” tell them.

The time has come. It’s been long enough. It’s time to track down your biological parents, introduce yourself to them, and kill them.

“You’re the reason I exist,” tell them. “For that you deserve to die.”

“But we thought you just wanted to know more about where you came from,” they’ll say.

Tell them, “I know enough. Someone has to pay for me being brought into being. All the people I hurt. Everyone I’ve made to regret ever having crossed paths with me. Someone needs to be held responsible for all that I’ve done.”

“Why not you?” they’ll ask.

Say, “That’s like fighting the war on drugs by taking out the street level dealers. I’m going after the supplier.”

When you’re done murdering them, go home to your adoptive parents and reassure them that you’re happy with the life they gave you. They’re going to feel a little vulnerable for a while, so just do what you can to reassure them.

Happy Time To Track Down Your Biological Parents Day!