Thursday, August 01, 2002

Mock A Telemarketer Day!
Telemarketers aren't allowed to hang up. Also, human beings don't like to call other human beings and harrass them into buying things. Therefore, telemarketers hate the present. So, why not make things worse? Instead of politely repeating over and over again "No, I'm not interested," or just flat out hanging up on them (which is what they're hoping you'll do in the first place), why not try making fun of them? When they say, "Are you happy with your current long distance carrier, Ma'am?" mimic what they say word for word, but in a loud, high-pitched, buffoonish voice. Then you could add, "OOOH! LOOK AT ME, I'M A WITTLE TELEMARKETER! CUDDLY WITTLE TELEMARKETER! WON'T YOU SNUGGLE-WUGGLE WIV ME?!!! I NO KNOW HOW TO PURSUE MY WITTLE BABY GOALS!!!!" Then put your forearm to your mouth and make fart noises into the phone.

Happy Mock A Telemarketer Day!