Friday, August 16, 2002

Every Minute Of Today Is Just Another Minute Of You Looking So Fucking Adorable That It's Going To Start Getting Tedious Day!
By around 3:30 today, you should probably expect people to drop by your cubicle to say, "All right! You can purse your lips in a way that makes us all melt into one giant pool of gooey, syrupy, stinkley, wrinkley, pookypookypooky pile of isn't he or she just so motherfucking adorable!!! We get it, okay? Put it in neutral, teddy bear."

Don't be insulted by this. People just get tired of too much of one thing. Even if that one thing is the shouts of "ohmijesus that's so delicious" you draw out from people's guts whenever you prance (seriously, you don't walk, you fucking prance! Even to the toilet!) past a conference room or the open doors of an overcrowded elevator. It's late summer and people are in full "Been-there" mode. Everyone just wants to go to the beach. Before I go, might I tickle you just under the chin and coo?