Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Go To A Dinner Theater Featuring A Magic Act And Ask The Magician "If You're So Fucking Magical Why Haven't You Taken Over The World Yet?" Day!

He's probably used to this kind of heckling and he'll most likely reply by lifting one eyebrow and leaning in towards you and saying, "In time..." The crowd will laugh and the magician will think he's got the upper hand. That's when you shout "YOU SUCK!"

He's probably used to this kind of heckling too and he'll most likely reply by lifting one eyebrow and leaning in towards you and saying, "Hey look pal I don't go down to the bus depot men's room where your mom works and slap the syphilitic dicks out of her mouth!" The crowd will laugh and the magician will think he's got the upper hand. That's when you shout "I'M YOUR TWIN BROTHER! THE ONE YOU THOUGHT DIED AT BIRTH! IN REALITY, OUR FATHER WAS A SCHIZOPHRENIC WHO TURNED TO RELIGIOUS FANATICISM FOR ORDER AND HE BELIEVED THAT THE CONCEPTION OF TWINS WAS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL AND THAT ONE OF US WOULD BE INFUSED WITH THE POWER OF DARKNESS! BASED ON MY EYES, HE ASSUMED IT WOULD BE ME AND SO HE SOLD ME TO A MAN IN HONG KONG WHO DEALS IN SUCH THINGS, THE BUYING AND SELLING OF CHILDREN I MEAN! BUT YOU BEING A MAGICIAN, PERHAPS OUR FATHER WAS RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING, THAT ONE OF US WAS A CONDUIT FOR THE DEVIL! BUT HE MADE THE WRONG DECISION ABOUT WHICH CHILD IT WOULD BE! ANYWAY, WE HAVE THE SAME MOTHER SO IF YOU KNOW WHICH BUS DEPOT SHE SUCKS DICK AT, PLEASE TELL ME AS I WISH TO REUINTE WITH HER! OH, AND UH, DINNER THEATER EH? YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY BRO!"

He'll most likely break down on stage and hold out his arms to embrace you. That's when you climb up on stage and accept hs embrace, to the heartened applause of the crowd. Then just as the curtain is closing, jam the shiv in his side for you are there to assassinate the man after all are you not?

Happy Go To A Dinner Theater Featuring A Magic Act And Ask The Magician "If You're So Fucking Magical Why Haven't You Taken Over The World Yet?" Day!