Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Try To Make Shit Happen With Your Mind Day!

Want that bag of chips but don't feel like getting off the couch? Maybe you're telekinetic. It's been a while since you spent some time trying to find out (at least a week!) and you do have a few hours to kill. Go on. Try to move shit with your mind.

You know you have a lot of untapped potential in various areas (ability to play a musical instrument, hold down a job, love another) and you just need to buckle down and put in the required effort. Well isn't it possible that you could also be able to make shit happen with your mind but you just haven't gotten around to it? Like that guy/girl you always see on the bus. If you put in the hours to refine your unholy power to control people's thoughts, I'm betting you could get him/her to believe he/she shares those feelings of emotionally void sexual attraction you've been harboring for him/her all these years. You just need to practice. And there's no better time to start than tomorrow night if no one's up for going out drinking!

In observance of Try To Make Shit Happen With Your Mind Day, children under the age of twelve are encouraged to swear.