Monday, May 13, 2002

Sit In The Corner Of Your Apartment In Your Night Clothes Staring Into Space And Turning The Lights On And Off For Like Nineteen Hours Day!

Sometimes, it's the only way we can tell you've snapped. Don't eat. Don't sleep. Gotta pee? No, no, don't get up. Just let your near limp body splay out like a corpse (complete with the dead glassy eyes!) allowing for only one working muscle, the one that squeezes the switch on the lamp cord on and off and on and off and on and off until you've devised a plan of action that'll take your loopiness out into the world where it's time for folks to pay.

Ideally, this happy funtime should take place when the one by whom you've been scorned is having the time of his or her life with his or her new lover. Also, a cord dangling from a single bulb in the ceiling is just to die for, but a more modern switch on a cord or a chain on a table lamp is okay as long as you're not in too uncomfortable a position. Yeah, you're out of your mind, but we're still talking about like nineteen hours in the same position. And please, no Clappers or dimmers.

This is gonna be fuckin' awesome.