Sunday, May 12, 2002

Go Visit A Friend Who Has Cats And Roll Around With His Or Her Cats Day

As soon as you get in there, just push past your friend and grab a cat or two. Then hug and kiss and pet and roll around all over the floor with the cat(s) trying to wriggle out of your arms, barely paying attention to your friend who invited you over there to talk about his or her recent breakup. Eventually the cat(s) will bite and/or run away from you because cats are unilaterally dicks. When that happens, take it out on your friend with something like "Ya' know it's just like your cat to do that to me." Then bring up that party your friend didn't invite you to six years ago and watch the shit fly. Did you know that the suicide rate skyrockets on Go Visit A Friend Who Has Cats And Roll Around With His Or Her Cats Day?