Not to be confused with Do Laundry Until You Fall In Love Day (that's not until October asshole).
Based on pretend surveys that were never conducted ever, this one could be over as quickly as it takes to get a throw rug mid-way through the rinse cycle, or seventeen years. Best to bring at least nine loads of laundry to just keep you there through most of the laundromat's operating hours.
First, get in the mood. Remember that hardly anyone in the place is wearing underwear. And the ones that are underwear-clad are wearing such a rank pair that they can smell their genitals waft up to their noses every time they take a step. While sex may not be in the air, genitals, at least, most decidedly are.
Second, bring something to read that isn't fucking retarded. You want someone to be able to ask you if it's a good book or say "Hey, I read that too" and no one's going to do that if you're reading How To Be A Fucking Working Actor. Bring The Corrections or The Unbearable Lightness Of Being. Even people who can't read have tried to read those and they won't be afraid to ask you about them.
Third, whilst folding, sway just so.
Fourth, if you spot someone trying to fold a blanket alone, offer your help. Folding a blanket with a stranger in a laundromat is the only situation wherein you and a stranger can open your arms wide and walk towards each other until your noses might touch. Wanna get your point across? Touch noses. If that works, rub your front up against him/her. He/she diggin it? Then kiss. He/she still not shying away? Start fucking. Right then and there. Aw man.
Fifth, if you're a dude, pick up a girl's underwear and say, "You must look so fucking hot in these." If you're a chick, pick up your underwear and say to some dude, "Dude, you wouldn't believe how totally fuckable I look in these fucking panties." Then ask each other about each other's reading materials.
Sixth, always carry a box of dryer sheets with only one dryer sheet left in the box. You can start a conversation by offering the dryer sheet to the person you want to fuck with the line, "I don't feel like carrying this box around, you want this last dryer sheet?" Or you could adopt the more agressive approach: "I used up all my dryer sheets because you've been making me so motherfucking wet. You want this last one so I don't have to carry around the box all night?"
Seventh, men, let him or her know you're in the mood by slamming the dryer door shut with your erect cock.
Eighth, if you live at home with your mom and dad and you have a washer and dryer in the house but you wanna do laundry until you get fucked, go to a laundromat anyway. I know it's a haul, but don't fuck your mom and dad.
Ninth, post a sign on the community billboard that reads, "Futon Wanted*", and below, in smaller letters, "*with you in it." This way people will think you're funny and therefore you'll like to hang out after sex and put on little origami shows with your scrotum/labia. And you can also sit in the laundromat all day and watch for who takes a number off the sign so as to screen out fatties.
Tenth, I know it's laundry day and I know you don't have any clean clothes left, but please don't wear that "It's A Child, Not A Choice!" tee shirt. It's a real drain on your pool of potentials.
Eleventh, and this is the last one and maybe the most important or maybe not, if you're gonna be doing laundry to get fucked, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. I don't wanna see any vengeance fucking going on. And no "Hey, I Just Got Off Methadone I Think!" fucking neither. If Do Laundry Until You Get Fucked Day isn't all about the fun of getting cleaned up and naked with others then this country might as well throw in the towel before dinnertime.