Ever since you were a kid, you've always loved to break an icicle off of an awning and suck away at all that frozen winter. Unfortunately, you used to be a cranky school teacher and many of your old students have waited a long time to get back at you for being such a sourpuss and giving out so many detentions. They've been looking for ways to get back at you for many years. Last night they climbed up on the roof of the building from where you like to grab your icicles and they dripped all sorts of terrible liquids over the side to freeze into some of the most digusting and harmful icicles imaginable. They dripped pee, snot, throw-up, and Liquid Plumber. Today, you'll grab the liquid plumber one first and you'll die before having to drink any of the pee, snot, or throwup. Your former students will be a little bummed that they didn't get to giggle about you licking pee, snot, and throwup before you died.
"He was always one step ahead of us," one of your former students will say.
"Oh my God we're murderers," the other of your former students will say.
"He was asking for it," the first student will say. "All those detentions."
The second student will take off running. He'll hide in the hills.
Happy You Like To Suck On Icicles Day!