Monday, February 05, 2007

You Are A Serial Killer With The Hiccups Day!

Every time you're hidden away in the perfect little nook and you're about to kill some naked teens, the excitement makes you breathe faster and you end up getting the hiccups. The teens hear the noise and they race into their clothes and take off running. This sucks in a big way because, ideally, you'd like to make just a small noise that makes the teens put on towels or pants only and come looking for you, basically walking right up to you as if they were reaching out to shake hands with your nail gun. Instead, they run from your guttural, hellish hiccups and you have to go chasing after them and you end up with a kill rate of around 40%. The only thing less dignified than a serial killer who races after his prey is one who does it while hiccupping like a bitch. The saddest part is, you could get rid of the hiccups if someone would just jump out and scare you, but who's going to try and scare a serial killer? Poor little serial killer with the hiccups.

Happy You Are A Serial Killer With The Hiccups Day!