Monday, August 14, 2006

Your Son's Gonna Get His Heart Broken Day!

Today your nine-year-old son and his little nine-year-old girlfriend are going to be riding their bikes around the neighborhood and having a sweet little time. His girlfriend will say, 'Race you to the end of the block. If you win, I'm still your girlfriend. If I win, you're not my boyfriend anymore.' Then she'll take off before your son has the chance to renegotiate the terms of the race. He'll chase after her, but she'll win, ultimately. When he catches his breath, she'll say, 'I win. That means you're not my boyfriend anymore. We're broken up now.' Then she'll ride off a single girl.

Your son will come home and tell you all about how he lost the race and how he just wishes he were a little faster because he would have still had his girlfriend if he was.

'She probably wanted out,' tell him. 'It's like when me and your mother split up. She told me to tell her whether I'd ever been with anybody else and she told me to be honest. Thing is, she had proof that I had something on the side. She had my cell phone bill with all these calls. And she knew I'd lie about it. She just wanted to create this situation so she could get out.'

'But didn't she leave because you were seeing someone else?' your son will ask.

Just walk away from him. He obviously doesn't want to be comforted.

Happy Your Son's Gonna Get His Heart Broken Day!