Thursday, August 24, 2006

Lightning Strikes Twice Day!

Today you are going to get struck by lightning again and you'll be restored with your sense of taste, which was taken away from you after your first lightning strike.

'This tastes fantastic!' you'll tell your wife after your first bite of her meatloaf tonight.

'I prayed for this day,' she'll say. 'It's been so lonely to cook for a man who interprets your food as nothing but mass and texture.'

'You taste good,' you'll say after kissing her on the mouth.

'I'm so glad you were struck by lighting again and everything is back to normal,' your wife will say.

Just then your eyelashes will suddenly grow three feet long and come alive. They will lift a candlestick and bash you in the head with it until you're dead. Your eyelashes will then be free of your will, though they will still have to drag your rotting corpse around while they unleash their lighting-fueled hell unto the populace. This won't be too difficult for them since your eyelashes will have the strength of a stadium of men. As they drag your dead body towards your wife, grabbing at a steak knife and a rolling pin along the way, she'll cower in the corner waiting to be torn apart and she'll say, 'I take it back. This blows.'

Happy Lightning Strikes Twice Day!