Friday, August 04, 2006

Glory Hole Day!

Today you're going to stick your dick in a glory hole but nothing will happen. You'll pull your dick back out and put your ear to the hole. The guy on the other end of the hole will be crying. Ask him what's wrong.

'Nothing,' he'll say. 'Just...Is this all there is?'

You'll know exactly what he means and you'll say so. All these nights spent hunting down the next sexual liaison, each more anonymous than the next. To the point where here the two of you are, choosing to forego the face and the torso and the arms and the legs, so that only what is necessary to the sex act is brought into play. A member and a mouth.

'And you know, I sometimes find myself complaining that I can't meet the right guy,' you'll say.

'What's wrong with us are we crazy?' the guy on the other end of the hole will ask, giggling.

'Seriously, what are we doing? This is nuts!' you'll shout from your side of the hole.

'It's like, afraid of intimacy much?' the guy on the other end of the hole will giggle even more.

'Yeah it's like, gee, maybe I know why I feel so alone all the time,' you'll laugh.

The two of you will laugh and laugh until the men waiting in line behind you to use the hole tell you both to go get a room someplace. You'll invite the guy on the other end of the hole to have a drink with you. He'll tell you he'd like that.

When you both see each other at the bar, neither of you will think the other is very attractive initially, but you'll fall in love and stay together forever. When people ask you two what brought you together, you'll tell them that you fell in love when you laughed together on either end of a dark and empty hole.

Happy Glory Hole Day!